Transcript
[Law Week Hypothetical 2012]
[Continues from part 6]
>> Kay McGrath: You've all been very patient and I know you're all soaking it up. We're drawing to a close.
This fictional scenario that we've painted here today and we've explored, between Sam and Jacob is obviously an example of an unhealthy relationship.
I'd like to ask Amanda from the Domestic Violence Advocacy Service just briefly, give us an overview, what are some of the characteristics of an unhealthy relationship and then let's contrast it with healthy relationships - what's a healthy relationship?
>> Amanda Whelan: Thanks Kay. I think it's safe to say that we're beyond the realm of unhealthy with this one and into abusive and violent but I think it's a great opportunity to talk about what a healthy relationship is, especially in a room with so many younger people here today.
I think if you look at the scenario with Samantha that that was really about her - there were warning signs for her early on, well before things became violent.
I think for me it's about is it based on respect, is it based on equality and is there ease with difference? Is it okay to have a differing viewpoint? Do you make decisions equally, is it okay to differ on things? Can you be free with what you think and feel even if it doesn't agree with what the other person may think and feel? Do you make important decisions together?
That will look different for everybody but I think when you start to look at unhealthy relationships - and they don't always become abusive relationships, but I think it's about saying am I changing my ways to suit my partner? Am I not being able to be up front about what I think about things? Do I feel perhaps watched or do I have to be careful with what I say or where I go or explain myself in ways that I'm uncomfortable with?
I think it's really important that we acknowledge multimedia and social media these days, and particularly for young women. We're seeing, you know, like, it's fine to be in contact 20, 30 times a day by text unless you are uncomfortable with it. If it's a type of monitoring that you are uncomfortable with then we start to get into the realm of something that's not healthy.
>> Kay McGrath: Trust your gut. A lot of the time.
>> Amanda Whelan: Absolutely.
>> Kay McGrath: Trust your gut. Trust your intuition.
Just finally, Amanda, what are some of the early warning signs? Maybe there's a few people in the audience today who are thinking ooh, they've touched on a few things there that might be pertinent to me.
What are some of those early warning signs that perhaps you are, sadly, in an unhealthy relationship?
>> Amanda Whelan: I think going back to that trusting yourself because it's about what you are comfortable with. I think it's about, as I said before, do I feel like I am having to - and Heather spoke about walking on eggshells - so am I tiptoeing around, am I feeling uncomfortable, am I feeling alarmed or concerned? Do I change my ways, do I not mix with my friends the way that I used to, am I separated from my family? Am I not myself?
Often your friends and family and people closest to you will be the ones that will tell you that. So it's really about trusting that and going and talking to someone that you trust and who knows you best.
>> Kay McGrath: Yes, thank you Amanda, and being true to yourself, I think is a very important thing to remember.
But of course, it's important to point out that these behaviours don't necessarily mean it's going to end up in domestic violence, doesn't mean that you are going to become a perpetrator of domestic violence at all. You have control and power over that.
Let's go back to Helen from Relationships Australia.
Helen, if people do recognise these behaviours in themselves, tell us what help, again, is available.
>> Helen Poynten: Thanks Kay. I'd just like to assure people here today that there is help in the community. One of the worst things is feeling that you're isolated and all alone, so just to know that there are services available.
I was considering how to answer this today and I thought I won't give you a shopping list of all the services that we've got because I'd be here all afternoon and we're at time already.
>> Kay McGrath: Very thoughtful of you.
>> Helen Poynten: Yes [laughs]. So I've got lots of brochures outside for people that might have some information but I'd just like to share that last decade Centrelink introduced a policy of no wrong door. That's an understanding that if you make contact with an agency it's our duty to try and find that person for you within our agency.
So if you approach Relationships Australia, Uniting Care, Anglicare and say I need some help, we'll then step forward and find that because we understand that that first step is sometimes the hardest. Yes? So we'll meet you there so have that confidence that we're in the community, we're here to help you and there's services - brochures - outside if people need them.
>> Kay McGrath: Point us in the right direction. Thank you very much Helen, thanks for giving up your time today.
Finally, if we can have a little bit of a brief shopping list, Fionna, from you, what sort of services are out there for people who are caught up, sadly, in a domestic violence situation?
>> Fionna Fairbrother: It's really important; there's the 24 hours line, which is DV Connect and of course, 000 for the police. So that's really important to remember those.
It's also about there is no wrong door. Really like all of these organisations, we link together so don't feel like you can't contact a relationship centre or even Legal Aid. We'll refer to whatever service is suitable for you situation.
But at the courts there's the domestic violence prevention workers, there's a lot of - so DV Connect would connect you with women's refuges. There's also a lot of the domestic violence prevention services so that's where Amanda's from, and as I said, Legal Aid, and there's a lot of community legal centres as well, but there's no wrong door, definitely.
>> Kay McGrath: Yes, that's one of the take home messages is that there's plenty of support.
I think we're up against the clock here so we might begin wrapping it up now and the two key messages that Legal Aid would like you to take away today is that domestic violence is certainly not acceptable and I'm sure everybody understands that. We do have a right to live in a violent and abuse-free society.
The second point is that there is, as we've heard, so much help available for people who find themselves experiencing domestic violence.
So to all the beautiful students that we have here today, good luck with your studies and our TAFE students, university students, if you know of somebody who is in this situation experiencing some form of domestic violence please let them know that they can reach out for help.
You can email or you can call kids help line. These are free, confidential services - service, which is targeted specifically for young people from age five to 25.
As you leave the room today, as already pointed out by Helen, that there are brochures and there are fact sheets about domestic violence and about all the service that is in place out there for you. Please take a copy of those if you're interested and many of those sheets are also available online.
So, I guess, wrapping up, Samantha and Jacob, there is support around them; they just need to use it. Jacob needs to obviously own up to his actions and seek some help. Let's hope that there is a bright future for them and for baby Lucas. Let's hope they don't make it onto the six o'clock news because we wouldn't like that.
It's now my pleasure to hand over to the CEO of Legal Aid Queensland, Anthony Reilly. Would you please welcome Anthony? [audience applauds]
>> Anthony Reilly: Thanks for coming today.
Legal Aid Queensland is the leading provider of legal services to financially disadvantaged people in Queensland and domestic violence is a big part of the legal work that we do. Our services range from information and referral through advice, court support, mediation and representation in the courts.
The event you've been at today- the Law Week Hypothetical - is something, which we've been doing for a few years and it's a key part of our community legal education strategy. That's a strategy that we use where we use a whole range of activities and events to try and raise awareness in the community of the law and also try and help people to understand their rights and how to enforce them.
So I hope you've learned something today about your rights and about the law. I certainly have; it was a really informative hypothetical.
I'd like to thank the Chief Justice for hosting us today and allowing us, once again, to use the Banco Court and I'm hoping next year we can use the new Banco Court; it would be wonderful. Thank you very much.
I'd like to thank Kay McGrath for doing a wonderful job as a moderator through quite a difficult topic, and with lots of complexity in it. I think that's what came out with me today, and keeping it really moving along, so thank you very much, Kay.
If we could applause our panel members as a group, I'm going to read them out: Fionna Fairbrother from Legal Aid, one of our wonderful lawyers, His Honour Judge Brendan Butler, Miss Heather Nancarrow, Miss Megan Giles, Inspector Mark Wheatley and Amanda Whelan. Thank you very much. [audience applauds]
People who are called placed audience members, Nicola Doumany and Helen Poynten. Thanks very much for getting up and helping out. [audience applauds]
All right and most of all, thanks to you for coming. I hope it's been a really useful event and I look forward to seeing you next year. Thank you. [audience applauds]
[ends]